Many enter into motherhood with very little preparation, and only a few may be well prepared. But the truth is, no women can be fully prepared for this task. Every woman is different and so is her situation. I entered motherhood with fear and trembling. I remember, when we came home with our first newborn, the one morning I realized that I would never be able to have a full night sleep anymore. That morning I wept. I have had my share of inner struggle and battle in my motherhood. In those days I wondered, why am I not happy with my new role—motherhood! I thought there was perhaps something very wrong with me and I felt guilty. I believe that every woman goes through some kind of dilemma, struggle and adjustment. Many new mothers to whom I talk, share their struggles, adjustments and fears. The following are a few ways I could overcome difficulties and enjoy my motherhood. I hope all the mothers who are going through their time of adjustment will get some help from reading these principles.
I did not think it was right to struggle the way I was struggling. I wanted to enjoy my motherhood. It was not as if I did not like my baby. I would grumble and complain about how hard I had to work every day. I could not go out whenever I wanted. I could not do what I loved to do. As I prayed and searched inside of me as to why I was not able to enjoy my motherhood, God showed me that I had not embraced motherhood in my heart. That day, I spoke out loud that I will embrace my motherhood and I even acted out that I embrace my role as a mother. After this action, I saw a significant change in my attitude. I saw a new life and purpose in my mothering. I began to enjoy it all. So I believe when we halfheartedly enter motherhood it is not easy to enjoy being a mother. It is true that even today new couples fail to plan their pregnancy because they are ignorant, shy, and accidentally get pregnant. They do not have time to prepare themselves. Others have a wrong view of motherhood and only hear the horror stories of one mother’s experience, or think it is not fashionable to be a mother. However, even if we enter motherhood with different views, when we embrace our motherhood, it will become a happy journey.
Letting go of one period of life and embracing another period is the continuous process of a human life. Some call it “seasons” of life. Like the different seasons of the earth that help to sprout vegetation and help growth, there are seasons to harvest and seasons to rest. Imagine for some strange reason, that winter remains for a whole year! We would not be able to enjoy the spring, we will not have the monsoon season to grow many kinds of crops, and there will not be an autumn. It would be a boring cold, cold year with only one kind of crop to grow and eat. The effect of winter would be more than what I am writing here. In the same way if we are not able to let go one season of life and embrace the next one, we cannot enjoy life.
Once more I found myself struggling in my motherhood. This time round I had a strong desire to go back to my single life. As I would take care of my babies, during my daily chores I would grumble and complain. I found my life at the time very difficult. I longed for my single life. Then again I came to God and asked him to help me. He led me to let go of my single life. As soon as I did that I was fine, and began to enjoy my motherhood again. So in order to savor and delight in our motherhood, we have to learn to let go of certain aspects of our life. Even in motherhood there is a different season that we will have to let go and a new season to embrace. If we learn the art of letting go and embracing effectively, we will be able to enjoy our lives more fully.
This is the first of two parts. The next article is coming soon